How You Deceive Yourself: 10 Ways You Lie To Yourself

Let’s see, we all deceive ourselves. Faced with the truth of suffering, one of two: either you deceive yourself or you are enlightened. I assume that you, like me, are not enlightened, so we can continue talking about the topic.

What I do Have is What Emotional Exploration

Meditation and memoir ghostwriters have taught me.

I have said before that we were “programmed” to seek pleasure and flee from pain. But just because we have a pre-designed program inserted into our hard drive does not mean that we “are” that, or that the way that program makes us perceive things is the truth or reality.

1. You Identify With Your Beliefs

Beliefs are mental and emotional constructs that we have inherited from our parents and the environment in which we lived as children. The bad thing about beliefs is that they are not usually in the light, but rather they manage your life without you barely realizing it, in a subterranean and automatic way.

 for example, can cause you to behave clumsily. And that is precisely where self-deception lies, in which you take the effect for the cause, you say to yourself “But how clumsy I am,” and thus you perpetuate the belief.

We lie to ourselves with thousands of deceptive beliefs (“I’m worthless”, “No one can love me”, “Money is bad”, “I have to work my butt off to be someone

2. You Identify With Your Opinions

You think that the Russians are the bad guys, that Real Madrid is the best, that the rules are there to be followed, that public education is shit, that capitalism should be abolished, or that they should put mixed services in all the bars in the country. 

3. You Identify With Your Character

You are shy, or distrustful, a smoker, or affectionate, or seductive, or persistent, or talkative, or thoughtful, or defeatist, or elegant, or “sad”… So what?

It is one thing that you have certain predispositions; Another thing is to believe that you “are” your predispositions. Applying awareness to this identification with your character and seeing how it manifests in the realm of your body, your emotions, and your thoughts, is to begin to free yourself from this form of self-deception.

4. You Identify With Your Emotions

And yet, in many ways, you are still a baby. You identify with your moods to such an extent that you let them completely color the way you see reality, And so, you jump through different emotional states, thinking that the one now is the definitive one.

And then, yes, you can enjoy the wonderful energetic, and kaleidoscopic spectacle that your emotions generate.

5. You Identify With Who You Want To Be

But it was a bit like when an apprentice writer wants to write like Raymond Carver and, without paying attention to the source of his stories, simply tries to imitate his external and superficial characteristics (the simplicity of the language, the absence of adjectives, the sordidness of the environments…).

Again, get off the donkey of your thoughts and fantasies (which you confuse with reality) and see what is happening in the entire spectrum of your experience, open the door to your imperfect, insecure, childish, and damaged parts, air your body tensions, your pains and your limitations, cleaning the dust from your contradictions and your internal conflicts, is the only way to begin to enter into a relationship with that wonderful person that you never stopped being and to whom you did not want to pay attention.

6. You Identify With Your Body

You go to the gym, you eat healthy, you think—or you want to think you are—young forever, you delight in a steak, you go to the spa, you have a great vacation in the Mar Manor, you go dancing once a week, you Those wrinkles that are appearing on your neck worry you, you make love every Saturday, you put on makeup to go out to buy bread…

Identification with the body is one of the greatest deceptions—and self-deceptions—of consumer society. And, curiously, it is what prevents you from relating to him in a healthy and pleasant way. It is as if you look at your body from a mental point of view: you relate and identify with a fantasy of what your body is, but not with the living, wise, and continually changing experience of your body and your senses. Beginning to recognize that sphere of experience, which is not separate from your heart and mind, means facing this type of self-deception.

7. You Project Your Internal Conflicts Onto Others

But only you are responsible for how you relate to everything that happens to you.

Blaming others, the world, or the circumstances for what happens to us is one of the most widespread self-deception in a sick, infantile, and traumatized society, whose individuals live necrotized and paranoid, seeing enemies everywhere and turning their existence into a battle. fierce against those who believe that they are making their lives impossible.

When you find yourself complaining, blaming, or judging someone, I recommend that you turn your gaze inward and explore your body, your heart, and your mind in search of the conflict that you are projecting externally, as if from a movie—your own movie. —it was about cinema. That is the first step to get out of this enormous self-deception.

8. You Compare Yourself To Others

Because who stipulates the unit of measurement? Well, yourself with your patterns and beliefs. What truth can there then be in the measurement results? If your beliefs lead you to have low self-esteem, comparing yourself to others will lead you to feel inferior. If your beliefs lead you to have airs of grandeur, comparison will make you feel superior. And to learn to do the same with others.

9. You Lie To Lie To Yourself

This type of self-deception can lead you to say “I want to marry you” when what you feel is insufficient love, or to say “Book Marketing Services” when what you need is help. In this way, a first lien can become an escalation of contradictions that, at some point, will explode in your face.

The English poet Alexander Pope said: “He who tells a lie does not know what task he has undertaken, because he will be obliged to invent twenty more to maintain the certainty of the first.”

Normally, this self-deception is based on a feeling that (perhaps because it goes against your beliefs) you are hiding from yourself, covering it with the verbalization of a desire (which, possibly, coincides with your beliefs or with what has been instilled in you). If you get in touch not only with what you want but also with what you feel underneath and the signals your body is giving you, you are more likely to notice this subtle self-deception and choose to be honest with yourself. and, therefore, also with others.

10. You Pour Yourself Into Others

This is a very common type of self-deception in women since the program they installed on our hard drive by default has to do with always being available for other people’s needs.
And underneath that is your inability to love, accept, protect, and value yourself.

As you see, facing self-deception always begins with looking inside yourself with attention, affection, and curiosity, trying to access the entire spectrum of your experience, in the spheres of the body, heart, and mind. Lying always begins with dissociation, so the antidote is integration.

To carry out this inner exploration, the disciplines of meditation and writing can be extremely useful, as they are designed, precisely, to take you headlong—without disguises or anesthesia—to your authentic nature.

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